Saying Goodbye :(

So it's the beginning of the end of our time here in Portland and our need to say goodbye to all the people that we have shared our lives with over the last 20+ years has begun.

Goodbyes are not something that I am good at. I cry a lot, hurt a lot and never feel like I have said enough. Goodbyes are something that I feel like I have had to do too many times in my life and I am overwhelmed with sadness that I am doing it again.

My parents were divorced when I was a very small child and I remember so many of the times that I would visit my "Daddy" I would be so looking forward to my visit, only to arrive with him and realize that my arrival meant that I would soon be saying goodbye again. The pain of having to leave was so great that it was almost impossible for me to concentrate on enjoying the time we had together.

Compound that with then living as an "Air Force Brat" and attending 2 middle schools in three years and 3 high schools in 4 years, I have spent a large part of my life saying goodbye and an even larger part anticipating the pain associated with leaving or having friends and loved ones leave me.

When I moved to Portland, I really thought that those days were behind me and even though I knew I would still have goodbyes, I guess I never thought that they would be initiated by me.

I remember when my friend Nicole moved from Portland to Minneapolis several years ago. We had become really great friends and spent a lot of time together. Our husbands both traveled, we had new baby's that were 3 weeks apart in age and we had each other. We shared a very special and important time in our lives together. We haven't seen each other in about 5 years but I miss her everyday and I think about her all the time. We are still friends, I still love her very much and it still hurts not to have her near by. Nicole I hope that you know that you are missed and loved deeply!!!! I hated saying goodbye to you!

I have never really made friends easily. Oh yeah, I can talk to people and I can be friendly too, but real friends, now that is hard. As those of you that are close to me know, I tend to have pretty high expectations of the people that I share my life with. I also think that as a woman it tends to be harder to make really good friends. That makes this move all the more difficult. since living in Portland I have met and been lucky enough to have become friends with some of the most amazing women and leaving them is killing me. These women aren't your average women. These are the kind of women that don't falter under pressure, not yours or theirs. These are the kind of women that need to pretense, they are strong, beautiful, proud, loving, honest women. Women that have no need to belittle others in order to feel better about themselves, quite the opposite, they give their best everyday to their children, their husbands, their careers and their friends and nothing less. They are kind of women that you can say ANYTHING to without fear of judgement, they have seen it, been through it, loved it or lived it ALL! These women are few, very few in fact. Women, or men, like this don't come along everyday and I will miss them more than I can even begin to say!!! I feel lucky to have made these friends and know that distance and time will not change the love that we feel for each other!!

So, here's to Shawna, our parallel lives would have lead us together one way or another! We were meant to be friends and for all the right reasons. I love you, respect and admire you! You work harder than anyone I know and yet somehow still have the energy to give so much love to everyone around you. You are an amazing woman and I am proud to call you my friend! Love yourself everyday as much as you love others! Your number will be on my speed dial no matter where I live. I will miss you so very much!

To Gimena: I love your honesty, your loyalty and your strength. Remember to honor yourself everyday. You deserve nothing less than what you give and what you give is the best of yourself. You deserve all the love and happiness that you wish for those you love. Take care of yourself and don't doubt what you are capable of! I have enjoyed every minute that we have been friends. I can always count on you to try anything!!!

To Lydia: your generosity is overwhelming. I often wonder how one woman can give so much of herself to so many things and do it all well! You are a genuinely great lady, you showed me what it meant to give for no other reason than you believe in the cause. You brought me to a place where I was able to give to something that was so much bigger than myself. You allowed me to see that it's not just a saying, but a reality, that to give is to receive! It takes a great woman to bring another in to her world and not only allow her to flourish but encourage her to! That is truly selfless! You did that for me and let me see a side of me I never knew existed! I owe you a world of thanks!   I will not only miss Al Amir's hummus, but all the great times I have spent there and with you!

To Angie: One one my newer friends and one of the strongest women I know. What I admire most about you is your integrity. You know who you are and who you expect others to be and you hold true to it everyday. I wasn't sure we would become friends at first, but I am so grateful that we have. Being your friend makes me want to be better. A better friend and a better person. You inspire me to demand the best from myself and from those around me and to believe that I deserve it. Never change! You deserve all the great things that life has to offer!

To Julie: Otherwise known as Henry's Mom. Our friendship is so young and yet has given so much. Being with you is so easy and has been since the day we met. I have so enjoyed getting to know you over the last year. Play dates at the Dick's house will be sorely missed. I love that you don't sweat the small stuff! I love even more your incredible openness, your intelligence and you accepting nature. I love how easily you laugh and how easy it is to laugh with you. I am terribly sad that Henry and Peyton won't have each other's hands to hold as the grow up. They have been great for each other and you for me!

To Mona:  You have just been given the gift of motherhood! You are going to be so great at it, you already are! Your sensitivity and your empathy are awe-inspiring. You love so easily and openly. You are a gentle and loving soul and yet when tested has been shown to be the epitome of "grace under pressure" and you were definitely tested this year. When the phrase "steel magnolia" was coined it was with you in mind. Thank you for loving all my kids equally and for holding them so close to your heart, they and I am lucky to have you in our lives!

Don't get me wrong, I have some incredibly great male friends too, most of whom were Sheldon's friends that subsequently have become my friends too. I have been lucky to have been surrounded by some great men too. The kind of men that a husband trusts to take his wife out when he's out of town and she needs to get away from the kids for a night. The kind of guys he he calls to check in on his wife when he's worried she may need some help and he's traveling for work. The kinds of men that call you to say hi and really care about what is going on in your life and really enjoy talking to you and not just your husband. The kind of men who not only don't mind if you tag along with the guys, but actually like it! The kind of guys who take your teenage daughter to a concert when you can't go!These are great men and I will miss them all. To my guys: Kevin, Jeff and Super B, I love you all! You are all three men of substance and integrity! Each of you so unique and yet so similar.

Kevin: I love your brain. I don't always understand it but I love it! I love your passion and your enthusiasm. You and I have had some of the best conversations ever. I have never spent time with you or with you and Shawna that I have not thoroughly enjoyed! You make me look at things with different eyes and see things that it didn't realize were there. You are a friend for all time.

Jeff: The hardest nut I have ever had the pleasure of cracking. Getting to know you wasn't easy, but it has been worth the effort. You give your love slowly and carefully but the love that you give is unconditional and deep and I thank you for sharing it with us. Peyton has loved you since the day she laid eyes on you, she saw your for who and what you are from the first! Thank you for your friendship I love you very much.

Super B!!!!: Could a man be any kinder? It's your greatest virtue and your biggest weakness. For those that truly love you a virtue, for those that truly love themselves, a weakness. My door is always open to you! You have proven to be one of the most loyal and trust worthy guys I have ever known. What I would  love for you to know is how wonderful you really are. If I could give you anything it would be the true knowledge that you are fantastically deserving of all the great things that life has to offer! You are destined to have a great life, you are paying all your dues now and once things fall into place, it will be smooth sailing! Believe in your own value. Everyone of your friends does!

Then there is my friend Donald. Calling Donald my friend doesn't do justice to the relationship that we share. Donald tells everyone that I am the sister that he should have or wishes he did have. Well, in some ways I am! I love him as much as if he were, in fact, my own flesh and blood. We are as close as two friends can be.

To Donald:  What is a friend? Someone that sees you in your worst moment and yet only sees the good in you. Someone who knows really who you are and has seen all sides of you and loves you not in spite of it but because of it. That is what you are to me. Thick and thin, good and bad, day and night you have been there for me. We have laughed until we cried and cried until we laughed more times than we can count! We have been the light at the end of each others tunnels, the voice on the other end of the phone and the brain available for picking. Fate may have brought us together by sharing an office space so many years ago, but compassion, understanding, respect, honor and love has made us friends. The miles between us can't weaken the bond that we have created! I love you!

So now that my keyboard is about to short circuit from my tears streaming down into it. I will close for today and leave you with these parting thoughts. It's has been said that you don't get to choose your family, well I disagree. Sheldon and I have created a family of friends and as hard as it is to say goodbye to you all, I wouldn't trade a single minute that I have spent with any of you!

Ok, so let's Blog!

Well, it is day one of my new Blog, but it has taken seven frustrating months to arrive at this place. So, I say, let's start at the beginning of this little adventure.

On February 2nd of this year my husband, Sheldon, and for those of you that don't know him, is an incredibly  loyal, hard working and dedicated man, was laid off from his job at Adidas.  There was no real warning, oh sure we knew that it could happen, but he was assured by his "boss" that he had nothing to worry about and that his job was secure, even though the company was doing a company wide re-structure. Famous last words!

So at about noon, on that life altering day, he arrived home and the "what now" planning began! At first Sheldon worked with HR at Adidas, or so he thought, to try and secure another position within the company, although it was soon pretty evident that wasn't going to happen! Human Resources, with the exception of my Mother-in-law, whom I love very much, is full of beings that are only less human than they are resourceful!

While Sheldon was unknowingly wasting his time with the interested, yet hand cuffed, management teams of what once was a major contender in the sports footwear and apparel business, I set up an account with the state unemployment office. What a shock when we found out what unemployment pays, or rather, what it doesn't pay. The amount of unemployment barely covered the cost of our mortgage!  With me, having stayed at home with our kids for the past 2 years, things weren't looking good for our short term economic health! We were in a better position than a lot of people who have faced unemployment recently. Sheldon was, at least, paid a severance and we had some savings. So we could make it for a while, but getting a job, we knew, wasn't exactly easy these days and Portland had, and still has, one of the highest unemployment rates in the country! Crap!

So, we then started to do all the things that unemployed people do. We updated, and re-wrote and re-designed, and re-wrote and re-designed and re-wrote and re-designed and re-wrote and re-designed yet again, the ever necessary resume. We then took to the internet and either set-up or updated Sheldon's profile on what we thought were the best options for professional and social networking. And a networking we went!

For the next three months, I became Sheldon's new “administrative assistant” and his new full time job was… CEO of Job Hunting! We started with local companies in the hope that we could stay in our house, in our neighborhood, in our schools, and with our extended family and friends. It was futile; there were so few jobs available and even fewer that were even remotely interesting. I know, selfish and unreasonable to have interesting as requirement for employment!

So off we went, full charge ahead, looking for a job, not just any job but a good job; one with potential, one that paid a living wage and yes, even one that was interesting, regardless of where it was located.  We, okay…Sheldon, talked to just about everyone he knew in the industry and slowly began getting contacted by recruiters looking to fill positions within the industry. I am making it sound so much easier than it was, we were sweatin’ it! We, yes, me too, were working overtime! I mean we were on the phone, on the computer, sending resumes, writing cover letters, reconnecting with previous colleagues, talking to our neighbors, networking with other parents at Peyton’s school, frankly, we were talking to anyone who would listen! Oh yeah and Sheldon even met with one ridiculously useless “career counselor”! Which suggests that there is such thing as a useful career counselor; and I am not convinced there is.  Short of hiring a sky writer, we did everything we knew how to do to get the word out that Sheldon was looking for a job.

Of course, I should mention that Sheldon is well known, well respected and well liked in his industry, not to mention great at what he does, the best in the business, if I do say so myself.  This obviously gave us an edge and we were happy to have one! So it wasn’t long before Sheldon was interviewing a couple of times a week and then the conversations started with Under Armour.  They weren’t quite ready to hire for the positions Sheldon was interested in when the talks first started, but after about two months… or was it two years? No, it just seemed like two years; the email finally came in for the proverbial phone interview, which went great…hallelujah, not that I am a religious woman, but I was that day, and on the morning they called and wanted to fly him out to meet in person, I think I saw the image of Jesus on my toast, or was it in the froth of my latte? In any case, I knew we were finally getting someplace and someplace worth going!  That interview, no surprise, since you know the outcome, went great as well. So great, in fact, that by the time Sheldon arrived home from his trip to Baltimore for the interview; they were calling to offer him a job! Just about that time, PUMA called wanting to set up interviews with him also, and I, was starting to speak in tongues! Well suffices to say, PUMA wanted him too and the negotiations began.

To be brief, as if that were even possible, Sheldon and Under Armour worked it out and he began “Protecting That House” on the 7^th of July, (“Protect This House” is Under Armour’s motto, for those of you out of the loop) which brings us a little closer to where we are today. Well, sort of, first we went to Disneyland with the kids (all three of them), put our house on the market, I went to Newport, OR with the girls to see my Grandfather whom, I haven’t seen in over thirty years and my Pop, whom I have only now seen twice in the same amount of time, sold our house, moved in with my parents, put in a offer on a house in Ellicott City, MD (for the second time) and had the house inspected, only to find that it needs even more work than we thought it did.

Ok, now we have arrived at where we are today! Not bad for a 1^st day of blogging!

So if you want to know what happens …tune in next time for more of the exciting saga of “The Donnell Family’s Coast to Coast Adventure” or “What Happens When a Workaholic, Sneaker Head, His ADHD Inflicted Wife and Two of Their Slightly Ill-adjusted, but Really Cute Kids Take on Baltimore, While Their Eldest Child Follows Her Calling to Lead  In the Fight to Keep Portland Weird”.